Ultimate Hike
by Doverstar
Summary: A PnF teenage one-shot, starring my OCs and the Danville gang! Phineas and Ferb have built the ultimate hiking experience, and their friends are keen to test it out for the weekend. Buford challenges Isabella to a hike-off, and when she accepts, all manner of hilarious dialogue ensues! Just for giggles and to see who all hasn't given up on me in this fandom. I've missed you guys!


**(Looking through the ol' reviews and realized..good grief, I MISSED you guys! Nobody seems to enjoy my writing as much as my P&F fans, or make me grin and laugh and nod and _mm-hmm_ as much as my P&F fans! And hopefully I haven't kept you waiting for another fic so long that you got bored with Phineas and Ferb, because for a while there, _I _certainly did. But I'll always just adore this show, and I missed writing for my OCs and hearing your hilarious, well-thought-out feedback and seeing that you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. Seriously, though, re-reading my old fics...some parts of it are just so awkwardly-written, I was _mortified_. So embarrassed. But I like to think I've improved and can successfully write certain kinds of scenes (even Codumn mushy scenes {YIKES}) pretty well now. I wish I could just open a chat box someplace and laugh it up with all of you; I have so been missing your Internet company and hysterical, witty comments! So here's a treat for you...a one-shot for total fun dedicated to you lovely reviewers. I hope you still like these characters. I went a bit overboard with OCs in the past, but then again, they were just so much fun, I couldn't stop! I'm a little older, little wiser, and have decided to give them another go in the literature world. Enjoy! {My writing style may have changed too. Also, if you've seen any of the Season 4 episodes, I've referenced a few. If you haven't given up on me, read this and tell me if I've changed for better or worse!}**

**P.S., This was written on my iPod...just so you know if there are errors. ~Doverstar)**

"Welcome to the Flynn-Fletcher Ultimate Weekend Hiking Experience Video Diary: Day Two!"

17-year-old Ferb Fletcher blinked with glazed eyes at the camera in his stephroher's hand. "We really ought to shorten the title."

Phineas panned the side of the boys' massive man-mad mountain for effect. "If you say so."

"Give your tongue a rest, man," Galan Walker said, clapping the redheaded inventor on the shoulder as he passed by, gripping a black backpack.

"Hey, you know, the title says it all," Phineas protested. "Literally speaking."

"Yeah, but have you tried saying it three times fast?" Valia Toir went by next, thick blonde curls bouncing about her shoulders. "FlynnFletcherUltimateWeekend HikingExperienceVideoDiary! FlynnFletcherUltimateWeekend HikingExperienceVideoDiary! Fliflecktimakeningspearydeor y...thee, mah tug won' cum u'quisted! Gahan!"

Valia's tongue was literally spiraled. Galan spun her in a circle three times as rapidly as he dared by her shoulders without batting an eye, and seconds later her motormouth was back to normal.

Phineas, Ferb, and the gang were all taking part in the mother of all camping trips for the weekend on the mountain that the boys had built specially for the occasion. Thus far, spirits were high, no broken limbs, and Valia hadn't stopped chattering since Day One, hyperactive as always.

"That's better. Did you know candy-cane is the easiest tongue-twister out there? See: candy-cane candy-cane candy-cane! But peppermint always makes my tongue tingle, and that's like one of the best sensations in the universe! They should bottle it! No, wait, how do you bottle tingling? And wouldn't it just make the bottle tingle before you used it on your tongue?"

Cody Bannister slapped a hand over her mouth as he and Baljeet joined the group in a clearing for a moment's rest.

"You have three seconds to stop talking or I'm gonna be nice and just toss you off a cliff. 'Kay?

Valia blinked at him cheerily and said something muffled behind his hand.

Cody blinked. "What?"

Galan took a swig of water from his bottle and screwed the top back on, translating for his best friend's garbled reply, "She said you have two seconds before she licks your hand."

Cody jerked his palm backward, rubbing it on his black T-shirt just in case.

Valia laughed. "Sucker! You still had one whole second left."

"Not worth it. Save your spit for Phineas' next rodeo."

Phineas raised his eyebrows. "Oh, that's right; you weren't here for the first one. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow!"

Ferb gave him a thumbs-up.

Baljeet grunted. "Has anyone seen Buford?"

A heavy, exaggerated panting sound echoed on the trail behind them. "Go on without me!"

Cody shrugged. "Okay." He began walking, and the others copied him comically.

"I meant it as a reference! Can't you geeks take a joke?" Buford Van Stomm clambered up to them in a rush, his weariness miraculously diminishing.

"Come on, Buf', it's not that hard," Phineas chuckled.

"Yeah, just follow Izzie's shining example," muttered Autumn Karmer dryly.

Isabella Garcia Shapiro was up ahead, waiting for the group with one foot on the next boulder heroically. "Hurry up, slowpokes, get those feet moving!"

Phineas elbowed Ferb wih his signature grin. "Once a Fireside Girl, always a Fireside girl."

"Until you pass the age limit, yes," Ferb mumbled back with an amused look.

"Hey," called Galan to the raven-haired girl. "Slow down, will you? We're dying back here, Isabella."

"Amateurs," Isabella rolled her eyes and grinned.

"Are you even human?" muttered Cody. "'Jeet, check if she's breathing ."

"Please," scoffed the intellectual Indian teen.

"Come on, gang, we've only got about...Ferb?" Phineas glanced at his stepbrother, keeping the camera on Isabella for the moment.

Ferb unfolded a map.

"That thing is bigger than my head," Buford grunted, gawking at it.

"Which is saying something," Galan said, and Cody gave him a high five.

Phineas scanned the map. "...Only about 39 more miles to go!"

They all stared at him.

"I'm not gonna make it through the next HOUR, Dinner Bell, so start revisin' the schedule," Buford scowled.

"Don't be such a weakling, Buf'!" Isabella teased.

Buford glared at her. "I ain't a weakling! We Van Stomms just always got a specific exercise routine." He pulled a top hat out from behind his back. "Weeeeellllllll..."

"No singing!" They all crowed.

Buford slumped angrily. "Everybody's a critic."

"You don't have to make excuses," Isabella said, shrugging. "If you can't handle the hike, you can't handle the hike."

"Yeah," Autumn jeered, nibbling the last of an apple she 'd been eating along the way. "Too bad a girl's a better hiker than you, though. That's gotta sting."

Ferb watched as Buford's blood began to boil, face turning red with unnecessary frustration.

"Anything girls can do, guys can do better!" The football player snapped.

"Sure, Buford. Whatever butters your toast." Isabella smirked.

Cody grinned. "Whatever butters your_ toast_?" he repeated, amused.

"Good one!" Valia cackled to Izzie.

Phineas turned the camera toward the circle again. "So maybe we 'll go just one and a half more miles. The river can be our stopping place and we'll set up camp."

"Betcha I can beat you there, Buford," Isabella said, hands on her hips.

"Betcha can't!" sneered Buford.

"Let's make it interesting," Isabella offered, smiling grandly. "I win the race, you admit girls are equal to..."

"If not better," interjected Autumn and Valia almost robotically,

"...if not better than boys. And..you have to eat a bug."

Inwardly the bully was rejoicing at the prospect of eating a bug. "An' if you lose, you sleep outside the tents tonight!" Buford countered.

"Without a flashlight," added Galan.

"Or a pillow," Cody put in.

"Ooh, brutal ," Phineas grimaced to the camera. "Will Miss Shapiro accept the terms?" He pointed it at Izzie. "Your line, Miss."

Isabella giggled at her boyfriend, then turned back to Buford with a raised chin. "Deal."

"Deal! An' to make it even better," Buford rumbled, "We're doin' it boys against girls!"

The others' heads shot up.

"Wait, what?" Galan spluttered.

"We're not on teams for once," Valia noted to him, not disturbed by being added to the wager.

"Pass," Autumn shook her head. "I've already practically fallen off this prehistoric rock twelve times in a row this morning. If I start running, I'll break every bone in my body."

"Technically, the rock is a mountain," Phineas corrected helpfully.

"Also technically, to be prehistoric the mountain in question would have to have lived in the Jurassic period, never mind being built a day and a half ago," Ferb said quietly, raising an eyebrow as he tossed Baljeet a granola bar.

Baljeet caught it and groaned. "Buford, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinkin' we dudes are gonna leave them losers in the dust!" Buford crowed.

"I'm in," Phineas said, pocketing the camera. "Ferb?"

Ferb gave them all another thumbs-up.

Cody, Galan, Baljeet, and Autumn all reluctantly agreed.

"If only to see you with your hair all frizzy and twigs sticking out of it tomorrow morning," Cody taunted to Autumn.

"You'll be the one dining on roasted beetle for breakfast, tough guy." Autumn retorted.

The race began, with Isabella in the lead. Closely behind came Buford, followed by Ferb, Valia, Galan, Phineas, Autumn, Cody, and Baljeet.

"This is awesome!" Phineas called as they all hopped down a series of boulders, the camera on again. "One big free-for-all to the finish line!"

"I just wanna see Galan eat a bug!" Valia shouted.

"You're mean when you have no hope of winning!" Galan yelled back at her. Yelling was necessary; the wind whipping through your system will make it so.

Buford and Isabella were neck-and-neck.

"Better pace yourself, Buford," Isabella tutted as she leapt over a log. "You don't wanna run out of fuel before we're halfway there."

"Not like he's running any faster than you," Autumn said, just behind them now.

"Whose side are you on?" Isabella laughed.

"Keep up, Cody!" Phineas ducked past a low-hanging pine branch.

Cody ran smack into it. "It's not as easy as it looks, okay?" He rubbed his brow, squinting, then hurried to catch up.

Baljeet brought up the rear. "You are a breathing testimony to all people uncoordinated, believe me!"

"Who said anything about uncoordinated?" Cody exclaimed indignantly. "I'm coordinated. I just have a very friendly relationship with..." SMACK! Another low-hanging branch. "...Trees."

"Particularly pine?" Ferb whizzed past him.

"Don't be jealous just 'cuz I smell like mints now."

"What did you smell like before?" Phineas asked, running backwards and pointing the camera at the Bannister lad.

"Manly things. Smoke and sweat."

"And turkey sandwiches!" Autumn added from up ahead.

"No one asked you!" Cody shouted back.

"Watch out for that ant, V," Galan taunted, jogging backwards as well now.

Valia skidded to an ungraceful halt. "Ant? Where? Omigosh, did I step on it? I stepped on it, didn't I? Ohhhh no!"

"Never mind. It was just a fleck of dirt."

"Gal-an!" Valia groaned. "You can't mock my Save the Ants shtick!"

"I can and will! You've been unsuccessful since the 8th grade! You're out of business; they live to be squished!"

"Serial killer!" Valia accused, fists bunched at her side and her outrageous purple cap practically flying off her head as she threw it back dramatically.

"Hey, get a move on!" Autumn said, slamming into her from behind on accident.

As the others filed by, Cody raised an eyebrow at Valia. "I wondered why you're always lookin' at your feet."

"Enough of the chatter an' run, losers!" Buford bellowed.

"He wants us to win, yet he calls us losers," Phineas said to the camera, his famous grin widening. "I detect hypocrisy."

"I'm not quite sure that word fits," Ferb told him as he kept in step with his brother.

"Yeah, not really," Phineas agreed, shrugging one shoulder.

"You're gonna be eatin' dirt in a second, Isabella!" Buford snarled.

"You're gonna be _in _the dirt in half that time!" Izzie retorted.

"To do that, technically, you might have to trip him, and that's cheating," Phineas called.

"She's on a roll," Ferb admonished him.

When the gang finally reached the river, it was a tie, with Ferb, surprisingly, and Isabella both reaching it at the same time. The group sat down to rest, making a fire easily and setting up their tents. As soon as they had finished, they began guzzling down water and basically inhaling any snacks they'd brought.

"How much fun was _that_?" Phineas crowed.

"Excuse me while I pass out." Autumn pretended to faint onto Cody's shoulder.

"If by 'fun' you mean instantaneous lung damage, then yes, that was fun." Baljeet grunted.

"Well, Buford?" Isabella crossed her arms. "I think our little draw proved anything boys can do, girls can do."

"You forgot the 'better' part," Valia said.

"I thought you always said we were equals," Galan teased.

Valia turned her head away, blonde tresses flying.

"You're not still giving me frostbite over the ant thing, are you?" Galan practically whined. "It was a joke!"

"I happen to take the matter of life and death _seriously_, Mister Anti-Insect Rights!"

"The matter of life and _death_? It's an ant!"

"Buford," Ferb said quietly, poking a stick into the fire. "You haven't given Isabella your answer."

Buford stopped in the middle of his long swig of water and narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, whateva. This time around, you was lucky! But _tomorrow_..."

"Can't we all just get along?" Phineas joked. "We're best friends, for Pete's sake." He pinched his eyebrows together. "Ferb, who the heck _is _this Pete guy everybody uses in random context?"

Ferb shrugged.

"Hey, need I remind ya, the Van Stomm's got this thing about holding grudges." Buford yanked out his top hat. "Weeeelllllllll..."

"Die!" Cody shouted, and threw his water bottle at the bully.

Phineas grinned. "Best friends," he muttered. "Like I said."


End file.
